Me: Jacob, do these underwear still fit you or are they too small?

Jacob: (confused, as though has been asked to define the theory or relativity) Uh, I don’t know.

Me: You were just wearing them an hour ago.

Jacob: ?

Me: Okay, I’ll decide.

Jacob: Good.

***

Me: Madison, do these underwear still fit you or are they too small?

Madison: Well, Mommy, they fit me at the bottom but not on the top and the sides squish me like this but not like this and when I wear the blue skirt they twist sideways but not when I wear the orange skirt or the green pants. When I wear the green pants they fit nice but not when I wear jammies.

Me: So, should we keep them?

Madison: I think yes. But only for two more weeks. And then we should go to the store and buy me new ones maybe with princesses on them. And new shoes. Remember those ones with the sparklies on them? I like those.