La vacance! Nous somme en vacance! Voulez vous couchez avec moi? Allez! Allez!

What the fuck was that all about, I don’t have any idea but listen here! yesterday morning I woke in my own bed and was laying there and I thought we should go away for the weekend! To that new hotel with the cool indoor waterpark! So I called! At 730am! Then I woke Dan up and told him to get the suitcase.

THAT’S HOW I ROLL.

Now we are most certainly not at home but instead at a hotel where I am enjoying a beverage and readying myself to decide between two piece and one piece for our second visit to waterpark today. Vacation is a lovely business. Like you don’t have to really clean up after yourself and you feel perfectly justified buying one in every color of that cute sweater at Target because stuff you buy on holiday? It doesn’t cost real money! It’s pretend money! It won’t impact your general finances one bit! It’s a miracle.

Like how eating food off of someone else’s plate cannot get you fat. Same like that.

I’m in a different country. And that means you can spend even more pretend money and eat off of the room service menu without fear of consequence. I think I’ll stop by Tiffany’s tomorrow. Because it won’t matter none! Diamonds here I come!

Thing about water slides in the two piece though is of course the fear of it popping off of various regions one generally prefers to keep covered. And so you slide down and at the bottom you cover your boobs as though you love yourself just too much and then look down so that everyone is thinking good lord why doesn’t she just go kiss herself already. But no, people, no! I am protecting you from nipple exposure! I am protecting you all!

There will not be photos. Carry on.