I’ve been having my ridiculous headaches again. Not that I’m talking about it because talking about it makes my brain keep giving me headaches. It’s got to do with pathways and stuff. If I never say I have headaches the brain will give it up and miraculously, headaches gone. So shh, I didn’t say anything.

Usually, I don’t bother taking anything when I get my youknowwhats. What’s the point. I take Tylenol 3s and nothing. Might as well be hitting myself in the head with a hammer for all they do. So I suffer and complain. The talking about the headaches has been my only relief. And now I’m not supposed to talk about them because of the pathways. I have to be all acting like I don’t have a headache in order to trick my brain into finding something else to do, like I’m hoping it’ll figure out how to make a zillion dollars so I can pay someone else to do the laundry.

Lately though it’s come to me that I am sick of this pain nonsense and with the encouragement of friends I’ve decided to try other pain meds. Most specifically, 222s - provided free of charge by my lovely neighbour. They work. In a temporary non specific way. Which is nice. And I’m thinking maybe there’s something even stronger that would work even better. Like morphine. Can you get that over the counter, or what?

I’m one of those people who’s something of a trooper. After my c-section I didn’t take any pain meds. I don’t think it was because I didn’t have any pain. It’s just, well, ach, suck it up, you know? It’s not that bad. It’s never that bad. But lately, with the headaches? It’s that bad. Because weeks and weeks of your head hurting and making it hard to see or give a damn about anything sucks. And when I talk about morphine I am only about 90% joking. Ten percent of me is thinking about faking a brain injury so I can go lay in a bed on a drip while they run tests that take a really long time to come back.

I remember I had this friend in University who had headaches all the time. She would drop Extra Strength Tylenol like they were Tic Tacs and I never understood. I think I had one headache the whole time I knew her and I just kinda waited for it to go away. I guess hers never went away, I don’t know. But I always thought it was major weird, her taking all these silly pills. Just suck it up, what’s the big deal.

I know this headache (shh, that’s just between you and me) is on its way out. You can tell. It’s not that it’s easing up but there’s a change to it. It gets a feel that says alright, I’m getting ready to bugger off soon. Which is a damned good thing because morphine addiction sounds like a whole ‘nother can of worms and I’ve got all the worms I can handle, thanks. For now though I’m happy to have a neighbour who shares her stash. She’s pretty free and loose with the red wine too so, you know, she’s awesome.