Panic. Setting. In. Also, PMS. PMS SETTING IN. Fifteen minutes before Christmas and I AM NOT READY. I don’t care if all caps is SHOUTING because I AM SHOUTING. And maybe crying. I might be crying. Just a little. Also, I’ve had five glass of wine since breakfast. And an entire cheesecake.

Plus, Madison might need a new head. I may have bit hers off when she asked me to pass her the purple marker. I was busy burning chocolate. Can’t the marker wait?

I’m making my lists now for the rest of my day because I think I will do better if I am prepared. I might also need to lay down a while at the mall. They sell mattresses at Sears. I’ll be starting there. And middling there. And finishing there.

Who gets their period right before Christmas when they are not even ready for Christmas? Who? It’s mental craziness from CRAZYTOWN.

Now step away from that Giant Sized Bag of Doritos or I will kill you, belee’dat.