shut up. i hate you. i moved you to the other side and still you make your wobbling noises. you are annoying and serve no actual purpose in our lives. we have let you stay despite this fact. do you want us to throw you out? because we will. we will toss you without a care to the three dollars seventeen cents it cost us to bring you into our lives.

yes, we regret that purchase. i especially. for it is i you annoy most. dan doesn’t even know you’re there. he cares less about you than i do, if you can imagine.

so enough already, outta you. i am {this close} to chucking you against a window and as you are metal in nature this would only cause me more trouble and i don’t need more trouble. so shaddap. please.

sincerely,
home owner