January 25, 2008
in which i aptly demonstrate why i will never be a runway model (age notwithstanding)
My computer has been on a slow decline into the dumpster. I’d be working and it would start doing things like sending random instant messages to the zsar of russia (there is no zsar of russia! silly computer!) and other things of a completely fictitious nature. Finally it got to the point where it would only work if I kept it plugged into an electrical outlet. Unplugged it would last eighteen seconds.
You have come to the exact proper conclusion if you surmised that there were battery related issues. Smart cookie, you are! Mommy pats you on the head!
So now I’ve got it back and there are no more drunken russian messages waiting for me on Yahoo! I prefer it this way. Drunken Yahoo messages should be outgoing from this computer and not the other way round.
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Today I wore my new (favorite!) jeans to drop Madison off at school. I also wore my red (red!) coat and a pair of three inch black boots (jeans! are boot cut!) and one of the other moms said to me, she said,
“You look awesome! With your boots and your jeans and your coat!”
So I struck a little pose wherein it is safe to imagine that I thrust my hips forward not unlike a supermodel might do and she said,
“What? Are you telling me you’re pregnant?”
“No,” says I, “that’s my fashion pose. Don’t you know a fashion pose when you see one?”
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I bought ink cartridges the other day. We had to swiftly remortgage the house to compensate for the financial strain caused by said purchase.
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I am going to make lunch reservations for Dan and I at our new favorite bistro (and yes, I will wear the new favorite jeans to samesaid favorite bistro) for next week because Dan and I do not do enough nice things together anymore. We were the people who vowed that we would read just as many books after kids as before. We’d go to movies and carry the children along in backpacks where we would let them enjoy healthy snacks like bananas and figs and flax seed oil. We’d eat fine food and drink fine wines.
Well, the wine, it’s still getting drunk but that’s more because of the children than in spite of them.
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My dog absolutely fucking adores me. The same dog I swore I was going to send to the doggy fur coat making factory when he was in the business of pissing all over my new furniture last year. Same dog. He does not pee on things anymore and he acts like I am a beautifully wrapped present on christmas morn every single time he sees me. Even if it’s only been five minutes since our last encounter. In the morning he will not go downstairs until I do and if forced to go before I am ready he will wait for me at the bottom of the stairs and wiggle like I am the second coming of the dog bone making lady. He is my entourage. He applauds when I enter the room.
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Madison is four and reading and will be way bored in Kindergarten next year because she will reading at a grade one level by then and nevermind, when she gets to grade one she will probably be ready for Chaucer’s The Canturbury Tails. I’m sure they have that book in grade one. I’m not worried.
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peaches said,
January 25, 2008 @ 7:56 pm
The Canterbury Tales is a GREAT book (said she with the English degree)! I’d watch out for when she reads about The Wife of Bath though….questions could be troubling.
honestyrain said,
January 25, 2008 @ 8:14 pm
i too loved The Canterbury Tails.
buffi said,
January 25, 2008 @ 11:21 pm
Madison sounds remarkably like SugarPlum. She was reading when she started Kindergarten and they didn’t quite know what to do with her. They sent her to the library with instructions to get whatever she wanted. During the week of Spring Break in second grade, she read ALL of the Narnia books.
I had forgotten about the Canterbury Tales! We actually took her to Canterbury twice when we lived in England. Of course, she was under five both times and has no memory of it. Pity.
She’s 11 now. She’d love the book. Except that some of it IS rather racy (yes, The Wife of Bath!). I may have to find a sanitised version. Though, she read To Kill a Mockingbird last year and was relatively unscathed.
Also….How anyone survives parenthood without copious amounts of wine is beyond me.
Bethany said,
January 26, 2008 @ 1:57 pm
My mom fed me flax seed oil as a child, but she forgot to drink the wine, so all-in-all, my childhood was a rather unfortunate experience. BUT! I recently discovered the joy of high-heeled boots, and, well, what terrible childhood? Once I discover red coats, the memories of flax seed oil will taste exactly like sugar-coated sunshine, right?
chana said,
January 26, 2008 @ 2:22 pm
I liked Canterbury Tales as well.

I DO think you should definitely post a pic of your ‘pose’.
psumommy said,
January 27, 2008 @ 2:45 am
I’ve missed you! I’m glad you’re back!
I concur, we need photographic evidence of the pose. My brain is hurting, trying to figure out how it would make someone think you were showing that you were pregnant.
My daughter was reading at the end of preschool as well…but then we moved and she regressed. However. A good Kindergarten teacher will know exactly what to do and how to keep her motivated and interested. We were lucky with ours, I think…she knows exactly how to deal with the kids at all of the different levels.